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ifeelbetterer:

allrightfine:

Is there a word for that occasional moment of self-awareness when reading smut, like where your brain accidentally takes one step back and you realize you are reading really descriptive pornography in your pajamas, while it’s light outside, with a box of Wheat Thins tucked under your arm?

I’m, uh, asking for a friend.

i feel like there should be a german word for this.

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My dad ran into an old friend of his today, and they were catching up...

  • Friend:"So how's your daughter doing?"
  • Dad:"Great! She's in college now, and she's doing really well. We're really proud of her."
  • Friend:"What's she studying?"
  • Dad:"Political Science."
  • Friend:"And does she have a boyfriend?"
  • Dad:"Actually, she came out as gay several years ago."
  • Friend:"You know that's... UNNATURAL... right??"
  • Dad:"No, I don't think so, actually. My daughter's sexual orientation is a biological reality. It makes biological sense to me. You know what doesn't make biological sense? Her damned cat walks on a leash. A LEASH. Just trots along on a leash like a damned dog. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. THAT is what's unnatural."
  • Best dad ever
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  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
  • Customer:“Excuse me, sir?”
  • Me:“Yes, ma’am?”
  • Customer:“I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
  • Me:“Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
  • Customer:“Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
  • Me:“We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
  • Customer:“Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
  • Owner:“Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
  • Homeless Man:“Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
  • Owner:“I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
  • Homeless Man:“Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
  • Homeless Man:*digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
  • Owner:*to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
  • Homeless Man:“I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
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0trevskies:

rotg-art:

"Of course there aren’t any gay characters in animated movies! THEY’RE FOR KIDS!"

Yeah! Kids’ movies are supposed to be innoc-

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Because telling kids that they can love whoever they want is TOO TERRIFYING AND CONFUSING. But showing them murder, execution, death, frightening images, war, and bullying is just fine.

Not to mention 101 Dalmatians where a crazy woman wanted to SKIN 99 PUPPIES

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damianmcgintleman:

"you’re too young to determine your sexuality" said no one to the heterosexual teenager

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Dear Maria snippet

Alex Gaskarth
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